I feel like I'm in dance class right now
kristin has been a bad kristin
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
