I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
