i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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