I'm pants shitting drunk right now
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
