Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
