I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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