just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
