So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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