I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
