I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
