i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
