She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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