he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
