Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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