everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
