Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
