I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
