do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
