we're blogging at a bar
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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