I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
