we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
