awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
