We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
