weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
