If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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