): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We had sex on a dog bed..
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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