Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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