We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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