Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
