Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
