Nicole vs. Life
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize