whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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