Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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