Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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