lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
