i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
