I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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