if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize