I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
