I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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