I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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