just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
