it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
