It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
did you just send me my own nude
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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