the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
