On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
