Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
