Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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