I'm jealous of your bromance
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
