it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
