Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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