I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
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