I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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