We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize