I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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