dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
