I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Dick very happy bro
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
