Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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