I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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