I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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