Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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