party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
whose parrot is this?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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