4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
