I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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