Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize