based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize